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By ShadowRaptor101
09/04/2014 - 03:36:30

Type: Creature
Rating: 0.11 (Not rated)
Tags: mantis, shadowraptor101, shrimp, the closest thing nature will ever have to a temporar ninja, zefrank1

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Description

Here we will explore true facts about the mantis shrimp.
The Mantis Shrimp is a living fossil of the prehistoric clown, that all modern clowns evolved from.
Each of our human eyes creates a single picture and the two together means that we have binocular vision. Each one of the mantis shrimp?s eyes creates three separate images; a trinocular eyeball. And, it has two of them, which means that it?s sexnocular...dirty Science.
Human eyes can detect 3 color wavelengths; The mantis shrimp can detect 5,400 of them. (Just kidding, they can detect 12) Imagine a color that can?t even imagine. Now, do that 9 more times; That is how a mantis shrimp do. Oddly, the mantis shrimp is pretty bad at discerning the colors that humans CAN see, which is probably why it dresses like an idiot, and this explains the modern clown as well. And just like the modern clown, the mantis shrimp has a psychopathic killing instinct. Mantis shrimps are generally divided into two categories: The first, the "Spearers", have spiny barbed front-scooping claws designed to snag and stab prey. The "Spearers" play a version of hide-and-seek, which pretty much sucks for anyone that isn?t hiding. Kind of a crappy game... really, not for kids.

Alternatively, the "Smasher" mantis shrimp have little, Edward bowling ball hands, that they use to punch the crap out of basically, everything. They have the fastest punch in the world, with the same acceleration as a 22-caliber bullet. To a mantis shrimp, kung fu looks like thai chi. The mantis shrimp can deliver a blow with 15,000 Newtons of force, which tells you what a sissy punch Newton must have had. That punch is so powerful that the universe can?t even handle it; Water moves out of the way so fast that little vacuums are formed, called cavitation bubbles. These bubbles collapse immediately, and the force of that collapse creates a second shockwave and even generates light and heat. That?s some "mortal kombat finishing move" sh*t right there.

Basically it sucks to be the mantis shrimp?s roommate. There?s just way too much of the punching.
Have you ever heard the story of the hermit crab and the mantis shrimp? "One day..." That?s it, that?s the whole story...
Even the octopus, who is quite a badass, can?t deal with these little psycho bastards. Remember; If your afraid of clowns, stay afraid. Stay very afraid...